I really don't know where 2010 went! I feel like it was just yesterday that I was complaining about 2009 being gone! Well, life has been a little hectic recently and I haven't had the chance to think of a theme or resolutions for this year. I will probably do that in a couple of weeks. Anyway, I just wanted to reflect on 2010 for a bit. My goals for the year were:
-Be in God's Word EVERY day!
-Let go, and let God.
-Form relationships/closer relationships with my siblings
-Learn German
-Be healthier... exercise and eat better
-Be a better friend
Well.... I read my Bible more than I have any other year, but not every day. I tried to let go and let God, but I wouldn't say I was overly successful at that. Forming relationships with my siblings: SUCCESS! Although the reason for it sucked, I am so much closer to my siblings after losing Dad. Its incredible and I love it! Learn German: FAIL. No excuse for that one except that I didn't end up going to Germany as planned. Healthier: ehh kinda. Being a better friend: well thats not up to me to judge but I do know that I found out who my real friends are. Ya know, the ones that are there to support me through anything. And that meant a lot to me!
I think the biggest thing I realized in 2010 is that God's plan and my plan are not always gonna line up, but thats GOOD! Because God knows everything and I don't! Shoot! If all my plans worked out, my life would be a mess!
(Let me just say that I am SO thankful for auto save because I definitely just pushed a button that would have made me lose everything above here!)
My first day of 2011 was so amazing! I watched one of my best friends (who is SUCH a brother to me) get married. I had not met the bride until today so I was nervous about her. But Ben made a wonderful choice! She is perfect for him. It was amazing to be at the ceremony! Ben means so much to me! I have been nervous/scared that because he is married, we won't be close, but I don't think it will be an issue. :) I was just so happy that Mum and I were able to go!
Well, thats it for now but I will post soon with my goals for 2011!
Happy New Year!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Saturday, December 25, 2010
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Once again.... I have failed my blog. I really do need to post more often! I'll work on that. :)
Well the first semester of sophomore year is OVER! :) It has been a crazy semester and I am very glad it is over. Things at school were getting extremely stressful and I desperately needed time away.
Since I have been home, I have done a lot of relaxing! It has been really nice. Other than the fact that Oregon's crappy weather followed me, being home is amazing! I spent the first couple of days scrapbooking my Christmas in Austria. Yes, that was 3 years ago. I am slow. But it is done and I love the album! :)
On thursday I went to Santa Clarita to have dinner/look at lights with some friends. We did the same thing last year so its a tradition. Haha. It was really fun except that #1: my GPS stopped working. #2: it took us over 2 hours to get there.... it should only take 45 mins. But we got there and had a blast so it was okay :)
Today is Christmas. It doesn't feel like Christmas at all. Its weird. Not having Dad here is strange, but not all that sad. Its just weird opening presents with just Mum and Grandad. Anyway, I had a relaxing day. I watched Edward Scissorhands after lunch. Not sure how I feel about it. haha. After that we went to the Smith's house (where we go for all holidays). It was really fun! There was a record 27 of us and it was a blast. I spent time with the kids which is my favorite thing to do! :) I got to talk to some people and it was good. I just love being there with that amazing family! :)
On a more depressing note..... before lunch, I got a text telling me that one of my professors had passed away this morning. That really broke my heart. She is young, influential, compassionate, and SO SO SO amazing! She got an infection over thanksgiving break and was in ICU until recently. So she hasn't been in class since then. We have all been praying so so hard and it is sad that she isn't coming back to teach us. I just don't understand. I know its Gods plan and stuff, but why her? This also came after a little baby boy passing away yesterday. I did not know him or his family, but one of my friends did. He was born at the beginning of this month and my friend has been involved in setting up blood drives for him. I have been getting constant facebook updates about his condition. Yesterday they took him off the machine keeping him alive. This was a baby! I just don't get it. It is just so hard to see someone that young not even have a chance to live. I don't get life, I don't get God, but I am thankful that He is in control. Someday I will understand, but not today.
Well the first semester of sophomore year is OVER! :) It has been a crazy semester and I am very glad it is over. Things at school were getting extremely stressful and I desperately needed time away.
Since I have been home, I have done a lot of relaxing! It has been really nice. Other than the fact that Oregon's crappy weather followed me, being home is amazing! I spent the first couple of days scrapbooking my Christmas in Austria. Yes, that was 3 years ago. I am slow. But it is done and I love the album! :)
On thursday I went to Santa Clarita to have dinner/look at lights with some friends. We did the same thing last year so its a tradition. Haha. It was really fun except that #1: my GPS stopped working. #2: it took us over 2 hours to get there.... it should only take 45 mins. But we got there and had a blast so it was okay :)
Today is Christmas. It doesn't feel like Christmas at all. Its weird. Not having Dad here is strange, but not all that sad. Its just weird opening presents with just Mum and Grandad. Anyway, I had a relaxing day. I watched Edward Scissorhands after lunch. Not sure how I feel about it. haha. After that we went to the Smith's house (where we go for all holidays). It was really fun! There was a record 27 of us and it was a blast. I spent time with the kids which is my favorite thing to do! :) I got to talk to some people and it was good. I just love being there with that amazing family! :)
On a more depressing note..... before lunch, I got a text telling me that one of my professors had passed away this morning. That really broke my heart. She is young, influential, compassionate, and SO SO SO amazing! She got an infection over thanksgiving break and was in ICU until recently. So she hasn't been in class since then. We have all been praying so so hard and it is sad that she isn't coming back to teach us. I just don't understand. I know its Gods plan and stuff, but why her? This also came after a little baby boy passing away yesterday. I did not know him or his family, but one of my friends did. He was born at the beginning of this month and my friend has been involved in setting up blood drives for him. I have been getting constant facebook updates about his condition. Yesterday they took him off the machine keeping him alive. This was a baby! I just don't get it. It is just so hard to see someone that young not even have a chance to live. I don't get life, I don't get God, but I am thankful that He is in control. Someday I will understand, but not today.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Loving God
It has been a while since I posted on here. I guess I just haven't really known what I wanted to say. Clearly, I have gathered my thoughts and decided on what to write about. The past five weeks have been the strangest five weeks of my life. I have definitely been through an emotional roller coaster. I went from being extremely busy with school to not busy at all. That is when everything started to sink in. I had time to think, I had time to deal with losing Dad. Its hard, it sucks, but I don't have a choice in the matter.
Well anyway, the main thing that I wanted to write about is my walk with God. I haven't been doing my daily devotions. In fact I haven't done them since two days before Dad died. That is the longest I have gone all year without opening my Bible. I have been at church and in chapel, but I have had this hesitancy whenever I am there. Its not like i'm angry at God, because that is the last thing I am feeling. I just haven't been motivated to be with Him or stay close to Him. Finally today I sat down and opened my prayer journal and my Bible and did my devotions. I decided to read what I wrote on the last day I did them (October 6) . This was part of my prayer on that day, "I want to keep up this level of happiness no matter what you may bring my way. My life may not be what I expected but it is all your plan. Help me to trust you." Not the most thought out writing or anything, but it hit me. I wrote this two days before God took Dad home! Ironic, maybe. God trying to teach me a lesson, definitely. I am sure I thought I meant it at the time, but when push came to shove, my heart wasn't in it. Loving God and praising Him is SO important to do in the valleys as well as on the mountain tops.
In my last post, I talked about the hope that we as Christians have in heaven. That has only been made clearer and clearer over the past few weeks. In two conversations I have had, the other person asked if Dad was a believer/if he is with Jesus now. I smile and say yes. The smile that I smile is not a little "oh yeah" fake smile, it is a genuine "YES!" smile. I just get so happy when I think about it. :)
Well anyway, the main thing that I wanted to write about is my walk with God. I haven't been doing my daily devotions. In fact I haven't done them since two days before Dad died. That is the longest I have gone all year without opening my Bible. I have been at church and in chapel, but I have had this hesitancy whenever I am there. Its not like i'm angry at God, because that is the last thing I am feeling. I just haven't been motivated to be with Him or stay close to Him. Finally today I sat down and opened my prayer journal and my Bible and did my devotions. I decided to read what I wrote on the last day I did them (October 6) . This was part of my prayer on that day, "I want to keep up this level of happiness no matter what you may bring my way. My life may not be what I expected but it is all your plan. Help me to trust you." Not the most thought out writing or anything, but it hit me. I wrote this two days before God took Dad home! Ironic, maybe. God trying to teach me a lesson, definitely. I am sure I thought I meant it at the time, but when push came to shove, my heart wasn't in it. Loving God and praising Him is SO important to do in the valleys as well as on the mountain tops.
In my last post, I talked about the hope that we as Christians have in heaven. That has only been made clearer and clearer over the past few weeks. In two conversations I have had, the other person asked if Dad was a believer/if he is with Jesus now. I smile and say yes. The smile that I smile is not a little "oh yeah" fake smile, it is a genuine "YES!" smile. I just get so happy when I think about it. :)
Friday, October 15, 2010
heaven
"My heart knows that we shall meet again some sweet day
And oh, I know just by knowing you I was blessed.
Yes I was truly blessed.
So why, tell me why the good die young my old friend.
A star that is what you are in my darkest night
Be always by my side"
These lines are lyrics from a song called Heaven by Hayley Westenra.
This week has been rough. I am in a situation that I never expected to be in, well not at the age of 18 anyway. Having amazing friends and family around me right now is such a blessing. Being able to be home is such a blessing. But the best blessing of all is knowing that my dad is in a better place and that I will be with him again someday. That has brought such comfort to me this week. It has made me realize how blessed I am to know where I am going when I die. There are so many people out there in the world who have no idea of what is beyond life. I think life would suck if you had the view that once a person dies they just cease to exist and become dirt. Or even believing that a person comes back after death as something that reflects their life. In both of these cases, death is dreaded. But as Christians, we have a hope that surpasses all worry or concern about death. Once we die, we have the opportunity to be with the One who made us, the One who created each part of us and our lives. That is so amazing! Clearly I would be much happier if dad was just at work and would be home soon, but knowing that he is in heaven is a pretty wonderful thought.
I am just so completely in awe of God right now! He has given me this hope, this peace. Yes, God threw this curveball to me, but He is there to get me through. Knowing that I am not alone is so great. God is good, ALL the time. It has taken me a few days to see this, but I do see it. I am not just saying it, I know it. Sure, my emotions are going to change and I am going to doubt this. But the truth of it never changes.
And oh, I know just by knowing you I was blessed.
Yes I was truly blessed.
So why, tell me why the good die young my old friend.
A star that is what you are in my darkest night
Be always by my side"
These lines are lyrics from a song called Heaven by Hayley Westenra.
This week has been rough. I am in a situation that I never expected to be in, well not at the age of 18 anyway. Having amazing friends and family around me right now is such a blessing. Being able to be home is such a blessing. But the best blessing of all is knowing that my dad is in a better place and that I will be with him again someday. That has brought such comfort to me this week. It has made me realize how blessed I am to know where I am going when I die. There are so many people out there in the world who have no idea of what is beyond life. I think life would suck if you had the view that once a person dies they just cease to exist and become dirt. Or even believing that a person comes back after death as something that reflects their life. In both of these cases, death is dreaded. But as Christians, we have a hope that surpasses all worry or concern about death. Once we die, we have the opportunity to be with the One who made us, the One who created each part of us and our lives. That is so amazing! Clearly I would be much happier if dad was just at work and would be home soon, but knowing that he is in heaven is a pretty wonderful thought.
I am just so completely in awe of God right now! He has given me this hope, this peace. Yes, God threw this curveball to me, but He is there to get me through. Knowing that I am not alone is so great. God is good, ALL the time. It has taken me a few days to see this, but I do see it. I am not just saying it, I know it. Sure, my emotions are going to change and I am going to doubt this. But the truth of it never changes.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
life lately
saying that my life is a roller coaster would be an understatement.
i am having some serious issues with my roommate right now. it sucks. seriously. hopefully things will work out but in the meantime it is so hard to be happy. this is the first "drama" that i have ever had to deal with so it is hard. i really miss being in a group that doesnt have drama.... ever! like you hippos :) i would absolutely love to bypass the next 2 weeks but that is not going to happen.
on a more positive note... much more positive... i played capture the flag last night! a group of about 20 of us met in one of the dorm lobbies and we piled into cars and drove to a park. this is the normal location for the game. it was SUPER sketch. we broke up into 2 teams and then headed to our sides to hide our flags. well.... as we are walking through the forest (yes it was a real forest), we came across a guy lying on the ground. as soon as he saw us he jumped up. we told him that we were playing a game. he was like "oh im just looking for my girlfriend". uummmm yah ok. haha so we called the other team and they said that they had also come across a few pot-smoking teenagers and we decided that it would be best to relocate. as we are gathering at our cars.... a guy and girl walk to a car that had been there since before we got there. they start yelling someones name and then the other guy that we came across before walks out of the forest. they jumped in the car and drove away. they reeked of weed! i have never smelled anything that strong in my life! it was crazy!
well we went to a different park that was much better! haha. we played two games... my team lost both :( haha. buuuuuut.... i was on the same team as Ralph Waldo Emerson the third! he is legitimate too. he is so funny! and his twin brother was on the opposite team and he was also pretty awesome!
so that was my amazing experience playing capture the flag! :)
i am having some serious issues with my roommate right now. it sucks. seriously. hopefully things will work out but in the meantime it is so hard to be happy. this is the first "drama" that i have ever had to deal with so it is hard. i really miss being in a group that doesnt have drama.... ever! like you hippos :) i would absolutely love to bypass the next 2 weeks but that is not going to happen.
on a more positive note... much more positive... i played capture the flag last night! a group of about 20 of us met in one of the dorm lobbies and we piled into cars and drove to a park. this is the normal location for the game. it was SUPER sketch. we broke up into 2 teams and then headed to our sides to hide our flags. well.... as we are walking through the forest (yes it was a real forest), we came across a guy lying on the ground. as soon as he saw us he jumped up. we told him that we were playing a game. he was like "oh im just looking for my girlfriend". uummmm yah ok. haha so we called the other team and they said that they had also come across a few pot-smoking teenagers and we decided that it would be best to relocate. as we are gathering at our cars.... a guy and girl walk to a car that had been there since before we got there. they start yelling someones name and then the other guy that we came across before walks out of the forest. they jumped in the car and drove away. they reeked of weed! i have never smelled anything that strong in my life! it was crazy!
well we went to a different park that was much better! haha. we played two games... my team lost both :( haha. buuuuuut.... i was on the same team as Ralph Waldo Emerson the third! he is legitimate too. he is so funny! and his twin brother was on the opposite team and he was also pretty awesome!
so that was my amazing experience playing capture the flag! :)
Thursday, September 23, 2010
religion
I am currently taking a class called "Religious Movements". This class consists of the study of religions in the world (crazy right!). Well anyway, we have covered Buddhism, Islam, and Hinduism. I have learned a lot of facts and information about all of these different religions, but the one thing that sticks out to me is that they have all found a God. Yes, some of these worship multiple gods, but they all seem to worship some form of maker or creator. I am still processing about this, but it proves to me that there really is something inside everyone that knows we were made by a force greater than ourselves. The way in which this manifests itself varies from continent to continent, but the underlying concept is there. Everyone knows that something made us. Everyone knows that we did not just happen to exist. Some people deny this, but if they search deep inside themselves, its there. I just think that it is interesting how there seems to be a strand of truth running through all these religions, but they are so warped that they are almost indistinguishable from complete lies.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
today was perfect!
i hate rain.
i hate homework.
my day: homework. rain. AND one tree hill.
surprisingly... i absolutely loved today!
its just so nice to sit inside... being nice and warm... and listen to the rain pouring outside.
i hate homework.
my day: homework. rain. AND one tree hill.
surprisingly... i absolutely loved today!
its just so nice to sit inside... being nice and warm... and listen to the rain pouring outside.
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